Now, I am beginning to wonder how many people actually are able to read English, particularly these people who it is in theory their first language.
We have had
another recent member, since we highlighted this issue, who has told a friend of mine that she has been overwhelmed with messenger requests without any prior contact.
This is actually getting beyond a joke. We have pointed out that some folk have found it a problem, we have asked folk just to have made a PM / email contact beforehand, i.e. have some contact before and ask if you can add someone as messenger contact, and also make clear who you are when you you do. If they do not respond to your PM / email then do not add them to messenger.
I do realise that folk can't PM as "newbies", but you can give them an email contact if you really want to make contact so soon. Or, think about it, it maybe would be a good idea to leave it a bit and let them settle in, get familiar, post a bit, and in a little time they will be able to PM.
It is hardly a lot to ask. I was under the impression that we had a really good community here, and that folk would take this on board and show some politeness.
Now, I don't think it is at all a coincidence that in this thread Danee, myself and Amy think it is a real issue, and that the immediate 2 respondents in the messageboard rule thread, saying they thought it was a good rule, were Marisol and Katie ( KC ).
Yes, all of these are female, and I think we have all been through this bombardment of messenger contacts. Now, it doesn't particularly really bother me that much these days. However, it has been a contact source of comment from new members, primarly female, ever since I have been a moderator on this forum.
Do you want to actually drive away new members, particularly new female members, who join up here because they see every indication that bit is a good place, but then begin to wonder ?
Do folk want us to add the rule on thisi specifically to the ToS ? Do you want us to start asking for names of these causing problems ? In short, do you want us to have to start taking action against some people ? Because, unless some attitudes change around here, we may have to.
It is a very simple request. If you are thinking about making a person a messenger contact, send them a polite PM / email, make contact and at some stage ask if they would like to be a messenger contact.
Having said that, don't start PMing them immediately, because some of you will know that has also been an issue for some new members ( and yes, particularly female ). Let them settle in first, maybe welcome them in their intro thread ( most folk ike that ), and then maybe PM them after a week or so.
Don't PM them in their first day or so, please. Trust me, I know some folk have been majorly put off in the past by this, as well as the messenger issue.
So that's : let new members settle in, maybe post in welcome thread, PM / email after a little while, and ask there about messenger if you think youed like to have them as contact, basically show manners, comprendez ?.
I am sorry that I have to so painstakingly repeat much of this, and I am sure that it is totally unneccessary for most of you, but we really are getting a bit fed up with this. So, please read, understand and act on this.
Because Sara is not happy
